yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
