OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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