Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It's blow job season.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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