We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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