That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize