Sponge bath it is.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
