I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
