I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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