apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
