unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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