I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
