Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
