no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize