jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
