When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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