No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
