It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
