I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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