We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
