No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
