You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize