You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Every concussion has its silver lining
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
