Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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