just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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