Porn is love you can see.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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