She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
not ubering you a puppy
Randomize
