people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We need to get me chipped asap
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
