i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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