they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
