i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
they need to just BURY HIM!
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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