I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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