At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Im part way to drunk.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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