Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize