i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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