2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize