Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
