32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
