found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
