Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize