you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
