gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
