what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
