Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
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