i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Actions speak louder than pants.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
