Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize