Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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