Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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