This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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