ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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