His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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