This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize