god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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