On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
