Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
