Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
