Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
