dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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