So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
