by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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