apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
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