I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
