Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
