You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
